btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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