Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
