I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
