Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
