I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize