No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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