Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
