She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
