we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
