There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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