STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
