take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
