Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
