Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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