Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
