The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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