i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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