Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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