We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
