Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
So. Much. Porn.
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