there's paper in my vomit.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dignity is for republicans.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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