I think I died a long time ago.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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