Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
