How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize