i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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