wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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