Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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