two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
