So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
