Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
