I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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