Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
