it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
