Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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