i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
