addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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