I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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