thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize