Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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