I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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