i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
