I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
