from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
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Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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