it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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