garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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