i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
where does the pee come out of this thing
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
