Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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