Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
