Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
