Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
