I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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