Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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