Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
People in love make me want to vomit
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
