I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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