This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
