woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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